Wedding Dress

As promised, here is a link to an album of some pictures that we took of me in my dress.

Click to see album

I decided to do it this way, and with that picture of my niece, Molly, as the album cover, so that Matt wouldn't accidentally stumble upon it. Keep in mind that we are adding a ruched sash around the waist in the same fabric as the bolero jacket to create more definition and a better silhouette. Though you can't see the veil very well, the one I have on is white and mine will be ivory so that it goes with the dress.

Now I just have to choose shoes (yay!). I have found several options that I like. What are your thoughts?

Option 1

Option 2

Option 3

Option 4

Frankly, I don't think I could go wrong with any of these shoes, I think they're all adorable. But now that you've seen the dress I would love your opinion!

And It All Starts Falling Into Place

I firmly believe that if something is right, it somehow just works out and everything, all of the little (and big) details start falling into place. This doesn't mean that no effort or preparation is made, just that those obstacles and hurdles are either easily overcome or practically move out of the way. This has been especially apparent in my relationship with Matt in general and our decision to get married, more specifically. There were a few different aspects that, at first, seemed almost insurmountable and ominous. But as we really started to dig our heels in and try to work through them, it seemed as if we were silly to worry in the first place.

Those initial obstacles included, but were not limited to: getting an internship in the D.C. area; deciding when to get married (after I graduate, before I graduate and if so, how long before); if we were to get married before I graduate, how would I finish school; how we would meet the families; finding a dress; where to have the reception; the reactions of those close to us if we were decide to get married in April instead of July. There are many others, but I think the idea is pretty clear. All of those, save one, have worked out better, I think, than either of us expected. It has really strengthened my faith that the Lord is really in control and His hand is guiding our lives.

When Matt first asked me to do my internship in Virginia, it was really so we could spend the summer getting to know each other and finally being in the same place. It's comical how soon that plan flew out the window once we met each other. Then the plan was to spend the summer engaged and getting to know each other. That plan also got nixed. Finally we decided the summer would be far more fun and it would be wise of us to consider getting married before the summer and then spending it being married and getting to know each other as a married couple. But I digress, that information will be more pertinent later. I knew that the only way that this would really work out long term was if I did my internship out in Virginia or in D.C. No pressure... I have to say that I wasn't nearly as concerned about getting an internship as Matt was. He would frequently bring it up, anxious and worried about what we would do and what would happen if I wasn't able to find one. My concern was more that I wouldn't be able to find a paying internship and I had no idea how I would be able to afford living on the east coast otherwise. Ultimately, I knew that somehow it would work out and that if this was supposed to happen, it would. I never felt overly worried or anxious because deep inside, I knew that a way would be provided.

That way was provided. I started looking for design firms in the area and creating a spreadsheet with all of the information I would need in order to contact them. When I got home for Christmas break, I emailed all of them explaining who I was and my purpose in writing them. Almost immediately I began hearing back from them to my delight. Some wanted to know more information about me, others wanted to talk on the phone. There was one in particular which was located like five minutes from Matt's house that really appealed to me. She emailed me asking for me to call her, which I did, but she didn't answer so I left a voice mail. I decided that I would wait until after Christmas (the phone call took place on like the 23rd) to contact her again. It actually turned out to be for the best because by that point, I knew that Matt and I would be married before I started, where we would be living, and that I would be able to take an internship without it being absolutely imperative that it be a paying one. We talked yesterday over the phone and she was thrilled to have me, she was totally willing to commit to having me as an intern. If we had discussed the internship before that, I wouldn't have known if I could accept it due to the financial restrictions. It was definitely a tender mercy that I experienced. The firm is called Sanctuary on Church and you can check out their website here. I am really looking forward to working with Hillary, she seems great and I know that there will be so much to learn from her.

Place Setting Put Together by Hillary and Employee

Deciding when to get married and factoring in the opinions of others was probably the biggest challenge we saw. It's a lengthy story on why we decided on April instead of July but it was a decision that we both thought and prayed about. Many factors went into determining that it was the best choice for us as a couple and I know that because we had done our homework, we made the right decision. We are both people pleasers and were worried that it may come across as rushed or pushy to move up the wedding but it turned out that our preparation paid off in the end and we have a loving support group behind us as we embark on this next phase of our lives, grateful to do so together. And at 11 AM on April 30, 2011, that journey will begin here:

I would talk about the dress in this post, but since Matt reads the blog, I will make a separate post for that so that I can show pictures and hopefully he won't cheat and look. But he's pretty superstitious so I'm not too concerned. Here is a sneak preview, though, which he has seen because it's not really telling of what the dress will end up looking like. 

My dress will have a bolero jacket for modesty and the color is Ivory, not the Coffee color that this one is and we are also having a ruched sash added to better define the waistline. I also don't imagine myself in exactly that kind of a pose, either.

We also decided to do the reception at the Pheromone Art Gallery in downtown Salem where I worked this summer. When I talked to Chris Marley, the artist and owner, he was thrilled and loved the idea of us having it there, he even offered the makings for Italian Sodas. Can you say, "score?" So we have a free venue and the beginnings of delicious beverages! I will take it.

The interior of the gallery, complete with me behind the desk

I guess the only thing that hasn't been nailed down yet is the school thing. Hopefully the school won't take the technology away from the department so that the capability to video conference into my classes remains. The head of the department really wants to continue to be able to make this option available to more students but that choice remains in the hands of the powers that be. Since the Man upstairs is basically in charge of the decision, prayers and supplications are welcome, even encouraged. I know that since everything else has come together so perfectly, that will, too.

Matt jokes about how I'm on a lucky streak, and I know that lucky streak started when he came into my life. I know, I know, it's getting sappy now. But honestly, I feel like I've been incredibly blessed and that it's a combination of the fact that this is right and that Matt and I have lived righteously and always tried to do what is right. I would do any part of my life over again if it meant that Matt would be the reward. I feel like my efforts are out of proportion with the blessing of receiving Matt in my life, but I'm not complaining. I'm sure one day the universe will notice that there's a little too much good fortune aimed at me, but I'm not going to rush that realization. Life is good. I have learned that we have so much more than we don't have. Sounds confusing, I know, but think about it, it's the truth.

A Quick (Or Not So Quick) Introduction

Well, I know that many people have requested an update on the status of my love life. I'm sorry that I haven't been better at that so this is my attempt to do so...

Matt and Me at My Apartment in Rexburg

Who is this mystery man, you may ask? This would be Matt. Matt is the man that I am going to marry and the man who I am incredibly in love with. One of the first things anyone ever inquires after they have heard about him is how we met. Well, we met online, actually. Those of you who know me are aware that I am typically a very conventional person who stays in her comfort zone. Well, after the frustration with dating for most of the fall 2010 semester, as well as the strenuous school schedule and calling as the Relief Society president, I decided that I would join an online LDS dating service on a whim. What once felt or seemed like a whim, I am now convinced was nothing of the sort. The very day that I signed up, I found Matt's profile. I sent a quick message saying that he seemed like a great guy and I would love to get to know him better. I didn't feel like there was anything to lose if he wasn't interested, but little did I realize just how much I had to gain from that simple attempt at making a connection. A day or two later, I heard back from Matt. Thus began the novel-length emails to each other. Getting an email from him became the highlight of my day and I couldn't believe how easy I found it to converse with him via email. It was as if we never ran out of things to write about. Not much has changed in that aspect as our relationship has flourished and developed.

A couple weeks after we had been emailing we had our first phone conversation. I was full of nervous excitement and even Googled conversation starters/topics in case the conversation lagged or grew dull. Apparently that was a huge waste-o-my-time because not once did I feel it necessary to refer to any of those websites during the actual conversation. We talked for nearly two hours during that first conversation and I couldn't believe how quickly time flew and how much I looked forward to hearing from him again. I heard from him the next day (he actually didn't call which I later learned was because he didn't want to seem too "eager" or "desperate") and not once since then has there been a day that we haven't talked at least once on the phone or through video chat in addition to texts and emails. After that initial phone call, we started making plans to see each other. It was such a relief to feel like I could be honest and frank and know that he wasn't playing games. The fact that neither of us are game players has been a definite blessing in our relationship. Shortly after we started talking on the phone and through video chat, he asked where I would be doing my internship this upcoming summer. I told him that I wasn't sure yet and hadn't really started looking yet, I asked him if there was a particular reason that he asked. He told me that he thought that the D.C. area would be a very good place, in his opinion, to do an internship... mostly due to the fact that he would be there (he is from Vienna, Virginia, a city that's about 20 minutes outside of D.C.). I told him that I would definitely start looking for an internship there.

Although our relationship progressed quite rapidly, it did not feel rushed. Since so much of our relationship was based on communicating and getting to know each other, it felt like we had laid a really steady foundation and that everything else that occurred just added to it and made it that much better.

Our first meeting occurred on December 3, 2010. I was going down to Utah for Tiffany Cook-Durant's open house and decided that it would be a great opportunity to meet him as well. Needless to say, we were both excited. Adriane came down to Utah with me and dropped me off at his place on that Friday. Our plans were to go and see a Carl Bloch art exhibit at the BYU Museum of Art, then go to Salt Lake City to see the Christmas lights at Temple Square, then we would get some dinner. On the way to his place, I was filled with nervous excitement, I'm pretty sure that I even screeched/squealed a little because of it. I don't think I'll ever forget driving up to see him waiting outside on the sidewalk for me. It was really like seeing an old friend, only so much better. We hugged and then I introduced him to Adriane (she was the first of my friends to meet him in person) after which she left and we went inside.

He was so sweet, complimentary, gentlemanly, not to mention very handsome. We got to the exhibit a little early and so we sat on a bench talking before we went in. He told me that I was even more beautiful in real life than I was in pictures or via video chat. He also said "are you sure you have to go back to Rexburg?" Originally, I planned to leave for Rexburg super early on Sunday morning, that didn't actually end up happening, I stayed through Sunday so we could go to church and watch the First Presidency Christmas Devotional together. When we entered the exhibit, we sat down to watch a short film on the artist. We sat on a bench and he leaned over and whispered into my ear, asking if he could hold my hand. I told him OF COURSE he could, which he did, and I instantly knew that any concern that may have been there about physical chemistry was unnecessary. We walked around holding hands, discussing pieces that we liked, and just getting to know each other.

We then drove to Salt Lake to see Temple Square. I had never been at Christmas time to see the lights and he hadn't seen them in years so it seemed like the perfect activity (and photo-op). It took forever to find parking but I didn't mind because it was great to just finally be together. We walked around until we were freezing and then went back to the car to search for somewhere to eat.

In Front of the Salt Lake Temple

We ate at Romano's Macaroni Grill and then he drove me to Sandy, where I was staying with Adriane and a family (the Aune's) that she had lived with when she was doing her student teaching. We hung out in the living room with all of them and eventually just the two of us were left. We read the book The Polar Express and just sat and talked. Not long after that, we were sitting very close and our faces were closer. Being the lady and completely unforward and conservative girl that I am, I leaned over and kissed him. In my defense, I feel proud of myself that I had waited that long. He teases me about the fact that I kissed him first, but never once has he complained. Besides, he was about to do it anyway, when your faces are that close it's a pretty obvious conclusion. He did tell me that any worries that had previously been there about lacking chemistry were definitely not an issue with us. Victory!

The next day we went to Chili's for dinner and then he came with me to the reception. He offered to come, so it wasn't like I was dragging him there. I was so glad that he came with me, it meant that I got to show him off to those there that I would know. Considering the long history between my family and the Cook family, I was especially happy. Shelby was there, too, so she got to check him out as well. We had established already that we were officially dating and a couple. That meant I could introduce him as my boyfriend *insert elated squeal here*. People couldn't believe that we hadn't known each other longer, we just seemed to fit. After the reception, at which everyone was completely enamored by him, we went to Provo to see a few of his friends serve as the entertainment portion of a company's holiday party doing stand-up comedy. Matt is in a group called Humor U with them and so we went to be supportive, and I think also because he wanted to show me off a little. It was great and after that we went to ice cream with his friends Callie and Jefferson. They were great and we had a blast. Then he took me back up to Sandy with plans to attend his ward together the next day.

It felt like the most natural thing in the world to be at church with him and to be sitting together in Sacrament Meeting. I could immediately imagine that that could be how the rest of my Sundays would be. He felt the same way, we discussed later. It was after church while we were back at his place that afternoon that we officially talked about us getting married specifically and not just in hypotheticals or the whole "we're talking about getting married but doing it in such a way that we're not technically talking about us specifically getting married at a specific time." The night before we had talked about how things between us just made sense, it wasn't like some angel had appeared or that either of us had some glorious manifestation, it just made sense and felt so right, leaving us both feeling so happy and peaceful about it. I could especially tell because of how at ease I felt and how I didn't feel anxious or worried about being abandoned all the time. Just one of the many miracles that have occurred since he came into my life. He had decided to come and visit me in Rexburg the next weekend and we had also decided to go and look at rings while he was there. It all seemed so fast but never did it feel fast. It honestly has always felt like the natural progression and speed at which we should go.

After watching the devotional together, it was time to say goodbye. We were in his kitchen and he was hugging me when he pulled back and asked, "Is it too early to use the 'L' word?" I laughed and told him it wasn't. To which he replied, "Well, then.... I love you." When he said that, chills coursed through my body and goosebumps rippled across my skin, and a new wave came over me when I told him that I loved him, too. It was like when you or someone bears their testimony and you can feel what they're saying is truth. I knew he loved me and that I loved him too. We hugged and he kissed me again, and then leaned back and he said, "I really love you. Like a lot." It was seriously one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. Leaving someone had never been so hard before.

I can honestly say that I have never felt more secure, loved, or valued in a relationship as I do with Matt. He is sweet, loyal, caring, and genuine. Until I met him, I had no idea how good and fulfilling a relationship could be; that it didn't have to be laced with disappointment, frustration, and feelings of betrayal or abandonment.  There is a peace and contentment with Matt that has always been lacking before. I just didn't know the difference.

In the subsequent two weekend visits as well as the countless hours of phone calls and video chatting, it became obvious to both of us that we do not want to live without the other. Thus, we have decided to be sealed in the Portland Temple on April 30, 2011. It's amazing how when something is right, all of the details fall right into place. We are holding the reception at the Pheromone art gallery in Salem, Oregon, the very one that I worked at this past summer, and the greatest part is that we will be doing so free of charge. I have already heard back from a few different design firms in Virginia where we will be living. Yesterday I went dress shopping and found a dress in the very first store I went to. The dress I fell in love with is a sample dress that doesn't need alterations, it fits perfectly. I met with and hired a photographer today. And most importantly, I was able to schedule my endowment and our sealing on the dates we wanted and even at the times we had decided would be best. It feels like every obstacle or hurdle that needed to be avoided or jumped moved out of the way for us.

I will continue to update this as the adventures continue. I will also try to tell more stories about the very early stages of our relationship's development. Thank you all for your continued love, support, and prayers throughout the years. I know that many of those have been answered through Matt and other ways as well.

Matt and me at the Salt Lake airport before Christmas break